While looking at the poses, I was able to identify which ones would trigger me and say no. That no was respected. I was then able to clearly and effectively communicate what I needed, and what couldn’t happen, in the approved poses. Not only was that accepted, nobody made fun of me. When I asked to be released from a pose, it happened without hesitation. I was never overpowered. I chose to go into poses with whoever I wanted. I knew these choices would mentally hurt, but I chose to trust instead of becoming defensive. When feeling overwhelmed, or about to, I used my partner to regulate and balance. Instead of thinking how I could be hurt, most of my thoughts were about how this felt good. Changing abusive conditioning is exhausting, and I feel like there was some mourning for what I lost. But after that passed, it’s exhilarating and freeing. I feel lighter.